Date No.1 - Mr. Foot Fetish

Here I was, new to the whole dating scene after having been married for 5 years and been with this person for about a decade in total...stepping back out into the wild, wild west dating world in my 30's was somewhat challenging to say the least...

Date 1:  Can I please see your toes?

He looked nice enough.  I started exprimenting with the internet dating phenomenon.  I figured...hey you never know.  We had seen eachother's pics and he was cute!   We decided to meet at a cafe on a Friday night. 

I was so afraid that he would turn out to be an axe-murderer that I phoned my friend Catherine and explained to her my dilemma...it went something like this..."Cat I am freaking out...if I die tonight I would like to tell you that I love you alot and....if he murders me I will be at this cafe, at this time and he sort of looks like this...."  You could say I was sort of afraid of dating a stranger that I had only formerly met through a home electronic device.

I entered the cafe and quickly looked around...hmmm could it be that guy alone in the corner?  No, not quite...well the teenager to the left is kinda' too young.  Oh there he was...so I went up to him...

We ordered our coffees at the cashier counter and I must inform you right here and now that Mr. Fetish was cheap for he made me pay my own coffee...strike one right there!  Gentlemen, I know it's the 21st century and women's lib and all but if you cannot pay a woman a coffee on one date then well....you will be branded a CHEAPO.

Next, we sat down and talked about our careers, our lives...all of that humdrum stuff...divorce...yada yada yada...and the date was going well 'til....Mr. Fetish made this statement:  "I must tell you that I have a foot fetish and since you are cute, I would very much like to see your toes to see if they are cute and lickable as well".

I suddenly felt like Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz, "Toto, we are not in Kansas anymore..."

Well, I was shocked....by chance I had gone to get a pedicure that very same day...and hell yes my feet are adorable!  Although I do believe that feet are actually disgusting.  How can people even remotely possess a fetish on that part of the body that we are constantly walking on and...come on folks, feet SMELL!

It was winter and I, Erika had my boots on. I hesitated and although I was shocked, I do possess an extremely evolved sense of humor and can be gutsy.  "Okay", I told him, "I will discretely unzip my boot, take out my sock and slide my leg over yours so that you can see how adorable my toes are for yourself".  Well, needless to say he agreed to the whole thing...he was actually quite aroused by the whole idea!  Oh brother....

As I slid my leg onto his and he checked my toes under the cafe table....did I mention we were in a public place?  Just wondering if that fact was crystal clear in your mind!  Mr. Fetish announced that my toes were indeed lickable....yup he decided this was a match made in heaven.  So, what do you suppose Ms. Erika did at that point?

I kindly put my boot back on, stood up and announced:  "Yes these toes are spectacular, too bad you will never get to lick them!"  Doesn't this whole scene kind of remind you of Seinfeld?  I am referring to that scene with Terry Hatcher...except she was referring to her other spectacular body parts...her boobs...

In a flash I was out of there...thinking to myself:  "Welcome to the new era of dating...the world just went and got stupid" !