Date No. 5 - The Intensivist

Drum Roll Please.........

Part Two of Date No. 4:  Of course I did not partake in a threesome people...what is wrong with all of you...now let us continue on with more of my weird dating stories or shall we call them, "Singledom Experience Stories"?

Onto Date No. 5....

Nina Ricci was on the phone...not the fashion designer... but my beautiful cousin whom does possess much class nonetheless.  Nina was planning a luncheon reunion ...seems that we live in such a small world, doesn't it?  You must be wondering...just how small?   Well, it seemed she was the nanny of a beautiful boy whom happened to be the son of a woman I graduated from college with?  Did you get the link?  I hope so.

So, it was a beautiful saturday morning and I, along with Laura were invited over.  Laura spoke about her life...and what a life it was.  She had married a cardiologist (a.k.a. a doctor, a.k.a. mucho money) straight out from college and now she had had two wonderful children, a cleaning lady and a mansion.  While she spoke about her fairytale life I proceeded to tell mine...it went something like this...."Well, I am a writer whom got married to an a--hole and now is divorced for the little scoundrel cheated on me".  I kept it as clean as possible!  No resentments here...not one!!! 

Keep in mind...my divorce was fresh...back then if I would have seen my ex on the street I would have nicely punched him in the genital area while the other hand would have gouged his eyes out!  No resentment here...Isn't it awful to read this...what I am writing is not politically correct but that is, in essence, how I felt at the time...I know today everybody claims to be 'friends' after they divorce but when the divorce is fresh all you want to do is plot a revenge...like calling the mob to break his two front teeth or dreaming of a hitman breaking his legs...oh well, one can dream...but I digress....

Seems Laura had hatched a little plan for me to meet her husband's colleague...a doctor....he was the Intensivist of the hospital.  I know what you are thinking...'What the hell is an Intensivist?'  I really did not care at that point 'cause all I heard was...DOCTOR....wow!  There was a hitch, however, her husband could not know about the meeting...he was totally against any blind date setups...she wanted me to go incognito! "Erika, please I really want you to meet him but Simon cannot know about this..."  That's right, I had to 'pretend' to be writing a screenplay about doctors, sort of like a 'Grey's Anatomy' for the big screen...and she would set up the interview so that I could meet up with her husband, 'The Cardiologist' and 'The Intensivist' so that they could help me write a realistic 'Hospital Drama Movie'.  In other words, she wanted me to lie and act the part of a screenwriter!  Oh brother...

I weighed the pros and cons of the situation and I could not for the life of me find one negative thing about it...okay so some lying was involved...let us call it 'bending the truth' for this particular case.  Hey peeps (I know it sounds like a rap song...), do not judge me so easily...when you are single it is very difficult to find some quality people to meet!  Visions of Dr. McDreamy or Dr. McSteamy... naked in my shower.... kept creeping in my mind...but I digress...

I decided that...Erika was up for the challenge, it was time to meet a doctor...giddy up!

The interview was set up, I simply had to go to the hospital at a specific day and time...man did I look the part...I did not want to look too 'artsy-fartsy' but I could not look like the business woman either hence I found a way to look professional enough in a mismatched suit but then I tossed a 'foulard' over my jacket...that's right...a colorful scarf is very artsy...just look at all the directors on the red carpets during the international film festivals...Robert Redford wears one quite often!

There I was in front of the hospital shaking because I felt like a fraud...however, I also knew that it was my time to play...time to play Nurse Erika!  Was I ready?  You bet your stethoscope I was!  Tape recorder...check!  Laptop computer...check!  Questions I need to ask....check!  A little bit of cleavage (not the skanky type..translation Pamela Anderson no-class look but the soft, innocent, classy Jennifer Garner type)....check!  Yup, I was armed and dangerous and ready to meet...tatatata...THE DOCTOR...

There I was...waiting for them in their office...feeling quite intimidated.  They both walked in and greeted me with warm smiles.  Geez Louise, it was at that very moment that I was feeling quite guilty...I was thinking such thoughts as:  "They could be saving a life instead of helping little old me and my love life!" and that thought flew totally out the window when I finally met....THE INTENSIVIST.....oh ya baby...he was cute!  Former thoughts of guilt were instantly replaced by other positive, more meaningful thoughts such as...planning my wedding...and what names were we going to name our children?  Gentlemen, we women like planning ahead...

There I was interviewing them feeling surreal about the whole experience...and in a hitch it was over!  Back at the ranch...I mean my place...Erika got the call she was waiting for.  Laura called telling me that the doctor was pleased with what he saw and inquired about me.  "Do tell Laura, what did the Intensivist think about Erika, inquiring minds want to know?"  Laura stated that he found her cute and that he would become friends with her on Facebook and then proceed to communicate from there!  Great plan, only this was about four years ago and I proceeded to ask the question:  "What the heck is a Facebook?"

I created my Facebook account and we started communicating from there...we got to the point that we were going to get together over dinner and a movie....BUT....did I ever mention to you that my life is anything but easy....all of a sudden he had totally stopped communicating with me, by mail, by Facebook, by phone...it was like he had totally disappeared from this planet we call earth.  I did recieve the call from Laura explaining to me what had happened to the lovely doctor...it seemed he.....

STAY TUNED for another episode of:  The Intensivist...

By the way, I never did mention what type of doctor an Intensivist actually is...all you have to do is Google it and you'll see for yourself...