I decided to try a blind date which was set up by family members, namely a close cousin. I declined at first, but she insisted and described him as, "NICE". If you are single you know that the word nice is used quite often to describe single people. However, if you are indeed single, the word, "Nice" is often the kiss of death. I have come to the realization that it is used for: boring singles, singles who are forty or older and live with their parents, singles whom are in the closet (not that there is anything wrong with that, just be honest about who you are), singles whom have never left their houses, except to go to their jobs (a.k.a. have NEVER travelled), unkept singles, 40-year old virgins....but I digress....
Date No. 2 : Would you love to see the changing colors of the leaves?
Yes it was autumn, and yes, he wanted to take me up north, to the countryside to see the beautiful colors that our dear Lord had created. Wow, I thought to myself, now here's a man that knows how to be romantic; chivalry is not dead. I admit, I had my misgivings...isn't this too long a date for a blind one? But, I was quite new to the dating game...so it sounded like a great idea...if I sound naive I was...
WAS: (The past tense of the verb To Be), one should focus on the past tense part for this no longer applies)
He came to pick me up and I got in the car next to him....now I know what you're thinking....she's crazy, she barely knows him...and you are right! However, he was friends with my cousin, and prior to the experience I called my good friend Catherine to let her know about my whereabouts, "Cat, if I text message you, SOS, call the cops, he is murdering me!"
Now, where were we, oh yes, I sat next to him and he was okay...like kinda cute. Like, he had all-of-his- teeth kinda' cute. Gentlemen, we women look for potential, sure we want George Clooney and Brad Pitt but we are willing to lower some standards in order to find some maturity...well, most of the time...oh, I will deal with this lethal idea of "potential" that we women possess in another essay; for it is quite a complicated subject.
As we said our hellos, he informed me that we were going to pick up a pie because we were on our way to his cousin's cottage. He assured me that we would stay for 2 minutes tops and then go off to see those beautiful leaves, after all he needed to go give him a housewarming gift since his cousin had just moved into this new summer cottage! All I heard was: FAMILY....Oh my...what to do? Should I run for cover or stay? By then we had already bought the pie and were well on our way to...where exactly?
Now, I thought we were going about an hour north of my city, two hours tops, but it turned out to be THREE and a HALF hours north...I live in Canada so this was so north I freaked out thinking we were going to see where all the moose live! I have never seen a real-life moose in my life! Oh well, being ever the optimist, I figured at the very least we had time to talk. This, however, did not happen because he was...the silent type! So, I did what any self-respecting woman would do, I talked...for an hour straight. Bla, bla, bla....there I was talking....talking and talking some more....must of sounded something like a character from Charlie Brown...wha, wha, wha....
For the remainder of the two hours, we basically listened to music. We mainly listened to Andrea Bocelli and Pavarotti...guess he wanted to show me how cultured he was...oh brother...
As we arrived to the cottage, we were greeted by his cousin, his wife and the kids. I greeted everyone and we entered the cottage, we gave them the pie, visited their new cottage and toasted the event with a glass of wine. I thought I was home-free after that! So, when do we leave? BUT, his cousin insisted we stay for supper since his other cousin was in town....I just gave my date that look...call it the look-of-death, the over-my-dead-body look or I would-rather-get-a-root-canal look. My date completely ignored it and said yes! He said YES! Can you believe it?
So, there I was eating supper with a table full of strangers, about twelve in total. They asked me many personal questions and needless to say I felt a tad uncomfortable. Questions like: "So, how long have you known our cousin"? I was truthful and answered: "Well, believe it or not, this is our first date". My date would just shrug off my answers and add little insides such as: "What she means to say is that everytime we're together it feels fresh like a first date". And he kept doing that ALL NIGHT LONG (yes...picture Lionel Ritchie singing that hit song from the 80's)....to state that I was peeved, frustrated and irritated would be an understatement.
As supper finished, I helped the women do the dishes like I was a part of the family and everyone seemed to think that I WAS his girlfriend. Oh well, I wasn't going to blow the whistle on him, no matter how demented this bozo was; besides at this point I felt like an accomplice. I have a hard time lying but for some reason this time I complied and felt guilty...I felt like I was helping him rob a bank or something...again...oh brother...
We said our good-byes and got into the car and drove off...I was so pissed off that I barely said a word the whole way home...so we listened to more opera on the way back...all THREE hours and HALF long...
As we approached my place, he pulled over his car and started to talk to me...his date...all of sudden I existed...and these are the words that he dared utter: "Well, my family just loved you, aren't they great...boy what a great evening this was" , and with that he leaned over for a kiss. Now do you suppose I kissed him?
Of course not, I simply stopped him. He was stunned and proceeded to ask me what was wrong. I simply answered: " Nothing, I just simply love your concept of a date, meet my family before meeting me, next time you take a girl out get to know her first, ALONE!" I must add that I bid him good-night, after all my parents taught me to always be polite!
That night I realized that I never got to see those darn leaves. No beautiful fall foliage picturesque scenes were stored within my memory. In essence, no colors were present in my mind...oh that is untrue, one color was extremely vivid....raging bull RED!
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